You are more than the sum of your five closest friends
“You are the sum of 5 closest friends you surround with.” I have read this statement, multiple times, here & there. Every time I read this, I thought, my real friends are less than 5, I am not surrounded by them and we talk occasionally. So, I am what I am, I am Me. Just kidding :)
I also read an article regarding this quote, David Burkus explained it very well in his article what it really meant.
He said “You’re not the average of the FIVE people you surround with. It’s way bigger than that. You’re the average of all the people who surround you. So take a look around and make sure you’re in the right surroundings.”
I have another variation of this thought. I would say that — We are also the sum of all the traits, that we think, we mustn’t want to acquire from our close friends. We are more than the sum of our 5 closest friends.
I believe that the term ‘Friends’ here is used as a Metaphor. Friends here could mean friends obviously, colleagues, relatives, fellow project designers, your product manager, an organization, and any other forces that impact your day-to-day life and mental well-being as a whole. We are always influenced by amazing people around us and wish to acquire their good traits. But at the same time, we also notice some traits or behaviors in them that we would not like to follow.
That amazing senior designer you know might superimpose his/her thoughts on the team while working in a team along with 5 other designers. That UX mentor to whom you earlier admired might be super rude to his/her juniors. That Manager with whom you have worked earlier might have handled many complex projects successfully but is partial to his/her subordinates. There could be many similar scenarios that each one of us has faced.
But are we really learning from those situations?
Let me tell you my story.
I learned a lot in my professional career when working with every person I met and I’m still learning. Each person teaches something. I subconsciously made a list of things or actions that I would do and not do when I’ll reach that stage.
I have officially started leading a small group of fresh design graduates since last year. All of them have graduated from India’s top premier design schools, and here I am, An Engineering graduate. But the one thing that we both had in common was the passion for Design. After meeting them, all the thoughts and learnings came rushing in, which I have learned while being with other leads and colleagues. I want to list a few but dear thoughts that I have kept close to my heart throughout this journey.
Be human 🍀
In one of my past organizations, the employees were referred to as ‘Resources’. I oppose this thought to call them Resources, rather I now refer to them as Humans. So instead of saying 1 day of Resource time or 6 months of Resource time, I would say 1 Human Day or 5 Human days. This reminds every one of us in the table that they are humans. They eat, they play, they sleep, they take breaks, they learn, they have family time as well as their personal time. This has helped me to set realistic timelines in front of higher management rather than treating them as resources and mining out their skills. Just be human, kind & grounded.
Motivate & Encourage 👏
Even small text message or an email appreciation for the team encourages to keep working fantastically in the future too. Imposter syndrome is real. Communicating with your team as much as you can and appreciating their amazing work and telling them “You did great. Keep it up!”, “Amazing Design Presentation. You were so good!” would help them restore their confidence drastically.
Be transparent 🙋
Encourage honest feedbacks or design critics among the team. Help them understand to be open to these feedbacks and critics. It will not only improve the overall product experience but also make you a better designer. Communicate, be open, and don’t let the grudges seep in, EVER.
Be a good listener 👂
By being a good listener doesn’t mean just to listen patiently to what the team has to say. I think it also means to sense and understand the team’s dynamics, their on-the-job & career expectations, and their relationships with each other.
Respect that every person is different 👼
In a professional setting, we are not encouraged to know and inquire about personal issues, challenges that one has faced, or the life struggles one has gone through. And because of these struggles, challenges, and their perspective towards life, I think every personality is different. At least, one thing that I could do is being respectful to everyone in my team. Every one of us is so busy in our own lives that we don’t really know, what battle one is fighting. By being more accepting of who they are and encouraging this within the team may help them find a safe space in the world, to achieve their dreams.
I hope as time goes by, I will learn more about leading design teams and will have the experience to add more items to the above list. I hope that I will create an environment for my design team that encourages them to grow not only in design but also in professional space as well. At the end of the day, I wish my team is happier and by constantly learning and growing, they contribute to creating a better world through Design 🌻
Thank You!
